Leaver's Assembly

We'll this is the final draft (Thursday 24/06 @ 1:15pm) - till I do the next one. I've decided in the end that it'll be better if you play yourselves in the assembly, but some of you can act the parts of the teachers. I think that it'll work better that way. Some of you might want more to say, in which case i'll give you somebody elses words to say so that you all have a similar amount. Also, if there's anything small that you'd like to add, please send your ideas as a comment.

Leaver’s Assembly 2010
Bharat: Welcome to our assembly. This is going to be our last assembly ever as Year 6 (aaaaaaah), our last assembly in La Luz (aaaaaaaah) and our last assembly as pupils of the Yeoward School (aaaaaaah). We’re therefore going to try and relive some of our favourite memories of the teachers who’ve taught us here. We’re going to start with a song, so we need Mr Traynor to play the piano. Has anyone seen Mr T?
Alina: I think I saw him skipping.
Jing: No, he’s counting bottle tops in his room.
Magi: I think I saw him checking the surf forecast on the internet.
Jean-Marie: No, he was playing table-tennis in the dining hall.
Diana: Oh look here he comes (giggles)....
(Enter Mr T carrying skipping rope and bottle tops, dressed in smart trousers and a loose fitting shirt that's hanging out) to the A-Team theme tune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyz_2DEah4o)
Mr Traynor (Fabio): Sorry, I’m late. Nobody told me there was singing today.
Miss Whetton (Magi): It was on the board.
Mr Traynor: Whatever. Anyway let’s try a new song – I’m leaving on a jet plane. After 3......1,2,3.
All children start to sing “I’m leaving on a jet plane” really quietly and out of tune
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4hsC0nRvZM
Mr. Traynor stops playing after a few seconds.
Mr. Traynor: Stop, stop, STOP!! That was rubbish. Now let me tell you about my friend Stevie. Stevie lives the other side of the baranco. Say hello to Stevie everyone.
Class (shouting): Hello Stevie
Mr. Traynor: Now Stevie wants to hear you sing, so let’s try a bit harder this time. Are we ready? (Mr T gets ready to begin and then stops as he sees Sita talking) Ah Sita, would you like to do a solo?
Sita: No
Mr. T: Are you sure? I saw you talking and I thought you were telling Diana that you wanted to do one.
Sita: No
Mr. T: Are you sure?
Sita: Yes.
Mr T: OK then. Everybody stand up, after 3…1,2,3.
Children start to sing again. This time, much louder and clearer.
Mr Traynor: Much better. Now off to class.
All children return to class.
Mr James (Juan-Daniel, wearing combat trousers and a t-shirt with a collar that's not tucked in)): OK class. Who can tell me what song you just sang with Mr T?
Alina: Mr James, was it “I’m leaving on a jet plane.”
Mr James: And what’s it about?
Children put hands up.
Mr James: Yes, Adrian.
Adrian: Leaving on a jet plane? But we’re not leaving on a jet plane are we? It’s only 4.6km between here and Trinity School. An average jet plane needs 2500 metres to take off and 2500 metres to land. That’s 5km, which means that it would have to start landing before it took off. Also they are 40 metres in length. Where are we going to store it? The car park is congested at the best of times. And what about the cost? It won’t be cheap – don’t you know there’s a credit crisis? And as for the environmental impact, just don’t get me started.....
Mr James: Yes, thank you Adrian. Anyone else?
Children’s hands go up again.
Mr James: Um... let me see. Olivia.
Olivia: La cancion trata de irse en un jet y me voy a ir a Inglaterra en un jet.
Mr James: Olivia. How many times have I told you? This is the International British School of Tenerife. Not the International Spanish School. Por favor Olivia, habla en Ingles. I mean please, pretty please, with a cherry on top and icing on top of the cherry, speak in English.
Janis, what do you think?
Janis: (Arms folded, head down) Uh?
Mr James: What was the song about?
Janis: (Shrugs his shoulders) quad bikes?
Mr James: A good attempt Janis, but not quite right. One more, let me see.....Jing, Jing
Jing: (giggling) I don’t know.
Mr James: Come on, this is hardly rocket science now. What about you Fabio-lus? I mean Juli – oh – ho –ho-ho.
Julio: I have a question. How can we play around with La Luz? Playing around means cheating doesn’t it?
Lily: By going to Wingate or Casa Azul. Duuuuh
Julio: You're right. But really, the songs about leaving. We’re not leaving on a jet plane but we’re leaving to go to a new school. Leaving La Luz behind and going to senior school. It’s about leaving your friends and your memories.
Mr James: Well done. You win a trip for 2 people to Hawaii and........one house point.
Julio: TOMA!
Mr James: Now then, who can tell me their favourite memories about La Luz?
Magi: Doing Sita’s hair.
Bharat: Playing football.
Jean-Marie: Golden Time.
Enrique: (sarcastically) Antonio’s delicious school lunches.
Diana: Extra play time (giggles).
Alina: Playing heads down, thumbs up.
Mr James: I was thinking more along the lines of some things you did in class or the teachers.
Fabio: What about when we had the beach party in Nursery with Anne-Marie?
Children (Carla, Julia, Julio, Fabio, Juan Daniel and Pati) dressed in shorts and t-shirts, to dance to the sound of “In the Summer Time” by Mungo Jerry. They are joined by Anne-Marie (Lily), who is dressed smartly .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zc9wIzi96_E
Anne-Marie (Scottish Accent): Och aye the noo. Now see here my little bairns. Did yous enjoy your wee pool party then? Aye
Carla (really quickly): Yeah, that was super cool. There was water and paddling pools and music and we all had loads of fun. We were dressed in our swimming costumes and sun glasses. That was super cool. The sun was shining and every one splashed the water and got wet. It was really super cool. Pati had a little toy boat that she pushed around and Julio had a little plastic duck. Super cool eh?
Julia: You enjoyed it then?
Carla (really quickly): Yeah, it was super cool. There was water and paddling pools and......
Julia (interrupting and getting annoyed): OK. I get the idea. It was super cool !
Enter Enrique dressed in warm clothes, hat, glove and scarf on top of shorts and t-shirts.
Anne-Marie: Och no Enrique. What are yous dressed like that for? Are yous not warm?
Enrique: (throwing his arms up in air) Nooooo.
Anne-Marie: Anyways I’m off. I’ve a haggis to cook and it won’t cook itself now. See’s you later my little bairns.
All: Bye
Enrique: Anyway, what are you guys up to? I thought we were remembering the good times. I don’t remember a pool party.
Pati: There’s a good reason for that.
Enrique: What’s that?
Julia: You weren’t there. You didn’t start here until Year 1
Enrique: It’s true. Mrs Philips was my 1st teacher. (Enrique exits to quickly take off warm clothes).
Pati: Yes, she was lovely. She made up songs about us. She could play the guitar really well.
Lily: And she told stories and we were in them.
Julio: And in Year 2. We had Bruce Lee. (Lily, JD & Carla start to do Karate moves to Kung Foo Fighting by Carl Douglas http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhUkGIsKvn0)
“Everybody was Kung Foo Fighting. Those kids were fast as lightning”.
Pati: No that wasn’t Bruce Lee – star of the films “Fists of Fury” and “Enter the Dragon” - it was Mrs Lee, our teacher.
Jing: Yeah, you’re right (giggles). She was my 1st teacher here (giggles). She was a real hippy. She was really nice and we had a lot of fun.
Pati: And in year 3, we had Mrs Hernandez. She was...
Enter Mrs Hernandez (Sita - dressed smartly, with heels)
Mrs Hernandez (Shouting): Right you horrible lot. Smarten up. Sit up straight. No slouching – you know where you are now, don’t you?
Janis: Uh?
Olivia: Que?
Everyone else: Olivia! Speak in English!!
Mrs H: I give up! Tell them you horrible lot!
All: We’re in the army. Miss!
Sing “We’re in the Army” from Giant Slayer.
Mrs H: Well done. 1 House Point
All: Yes!
Mrs H: To share between all of you
All: Ahhhhhh
Mrs Hernandez leaves. Sita changes into normal clothes. Carla leaves to get dressed as Miss Zaher.
Alina: In Year 4, I joined the school.
Adrian: Me too. And Sita
Lily: We had 2 teachers for the price of one that year.
Jing: Yes Mrs Philips.
Julia: Again.
Adrian: Yes, she was lovely. She made up songs about us. She could play.......
All (interrupting): Yes, we know. Pati told us earlier
Alina: And Mrs Wheeler
Adrian: Yeah, she was real neat.
Alina: A real swell gal.
Sita: And as wholesome as mom’s apple pie.
Diana: Who did you have as a teacher in year 5?
Pati: Miss Zaher
Magi: Where is she? I could do her hair.
Janis: Uh?
Jean-Marie: I think she’s parking her car.
Fabio: She’ll be a while then.
Pati: I liked it in Year 5. Miss Zaheer was always in a good mood.
Jean-Marie: Yes, it was like it was happy hour all day, every day.
Dance to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ehden6aPl0
Mrs Zaher steps out of dance, wearing loose fitting clothes, giggling and flapping her arms.
Mrs Z: My lovelies, that was brilliant.
Julio: But you didn’t see it. You were parking your car.
Mrs Z: It doesn’t matter. It was still brilliant. Everyone have 100 House Points. No go on, have 200.
Jean-Marie: Whatever.
Mrs Z: I can’t believe you guys are like leaving. You were like the best year 5 class I’ve ever taught. Have another 100 house points, just for that.
Janis: Uh
Fabio: But Mrs Zaheer weren’t we the only year 5 class that you taught?
Mrs Z: You were, but it doesn’t matter does it? You’re all so lovely.
Magi: I know but shouldn’t we be going?
JD: I think your right. We could just do one last song before we go.
Janis: We could get year 4 & 5 to help us, because they’re leaving as well. They are still going to be in the Junior School but they won’t be here, they’ll be where Trinity school is now.
All: Janis! You can speak?
Janis: Uh
Alina: Could Year 3 help as well. I know that they’re not leaving but my sister’s in Year 3 and I’ll sort of miss her.
Sita: OK. Let’s give it a go. Come on Key Stage 2, I’ve got a feeling....that we can do this together.
Dance to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b74WNUfcSHk
Everybody: Thank you for listening to our assembly